The plaster of paris monkey with the yellow kitchen gloves…oh. Wait, that’s a banana.

There’s a fine line between long shorts and capri pants.  And Mister?  Those are not long shorts. (That teal blue color should have been a dead giveaway to your midwestern manliness.)

The restaurant bathroom would not be my first choice for washing my fresh fruit.
Dying all your hair black except for that one white streak down the middle is not a becoming look regardless of age or gender.

Going to Canada and drinking Coors Light does not constitute exotic foreign biere, I don’t care how you spell it.